Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020