I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous
As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous