The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. Anonymous
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. Anonymous