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The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.

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Similar Quotes

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Analogies Sleep Quotes

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

George W. Bush

Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Work Quotes

When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

Time Quotes Work Quotes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Famous Quotes Questions

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Sayings

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Famous Quotes TV Quotes Time Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Dog Quotes Friend Quotes Man Quotes

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Never Quotes Work Quotes

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Work Quotes

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Time Quotes Work Quotes

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

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