CoolFunnyQuotes.com Quote

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

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When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

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Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

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Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

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My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

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If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

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My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

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My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

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Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

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Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.

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I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.

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Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

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Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

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