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My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

Anonymous

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Anonymous

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

Anonymous

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If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

Anonymous

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen

Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Anonymous

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!

Anonymous

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