Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same.
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.
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