Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein