Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Steven Alexander Wright
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up!
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side.
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