What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
More Quotes by Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
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