Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
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Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?
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