Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
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