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Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Life Quotes Top 100

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. - Anonymous

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes Top 100

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous

Time Quotes Top 100

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

Know Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? - Anonymous

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? - Anonymous

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? Anonymous

People Quotes Sleep Quotes

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" - Anonymous

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous

How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. - Anonymous

How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes Wise Quotes

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous

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