How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. Anonymous
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies. Anonymous
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