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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

I noticed you are not noticing me.

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.