I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes.
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing? Anonymous
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous