You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me.
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.
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