Rita Rudner Quote

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous

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Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous

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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams

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Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. - Helen Rowland

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Helen Rowland

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You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

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I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

I love you forever... but I can't live that long. Anonymous

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You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

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Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous

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If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous

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I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous

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There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous

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At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" - Anonymous

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous

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I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous

I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous

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Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous

Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous

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You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous

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There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous

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Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous

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