Rita Rudner Quote

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous

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Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous

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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams

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Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. - Helen Rowland

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Helen Rowland

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You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

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I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

I love you forever... but I can't live that long. Anonymous

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You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

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Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous

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If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous

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I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous

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There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous

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At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" - Anonymous

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous

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I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous

I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous

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Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous

Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous

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You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous

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There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous

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Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous

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