Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous
Short Quotes
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I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous
Animals
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. - Anonymous
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
Sayings
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous
Sayings
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
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