Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Drinking Sayings
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. - Anonymous
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Top 100
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. - Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you. - Anonymous
Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements Time Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes

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