Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Wise Quotes
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
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You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements Time Quotes
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. - Anonymous
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. - Anonymous
Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. - Anonymous
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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