Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.
Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
Life is too short to worry about matching socks.
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson.
At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?"
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
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