Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright