Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.
An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side.
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert.
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