My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.Anonymous
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.Anonymous
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.Anonymous
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.Anonymous