If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
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How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
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