The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.
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