What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...