Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements Top 100
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

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