If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Anonymous
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. Anonymous
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over. Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich. Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
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