Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Louis Hector Berlioz
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I
start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.
Sometimes you succeed.... and other times you learn.
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
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