When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them. Anonymous
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. Anonymous