Top 100 Funny Quotes

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It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals
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Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Sayings
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes
I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say. - Ronnie Shakes
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

Know Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
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