In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do.
I don't want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?"
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
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