Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anonymous
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous