Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. - Anonymous
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Short Quotes
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
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Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
Never Quotes People Quotes Phone
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. - Anonymous
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. - Anonymous
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. - Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous
Computers
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
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