I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
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