Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Statements

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous

Analogies Love Quotes Phone

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I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. - Anonymous

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Friend Quotes Sayings

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

Savannah Highnote

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. - Anonymous

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich. - Violet Matters

When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Work Quotes

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. - Anonymous

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes World Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

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