Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. - Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." - Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous
Facebook
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. - Anonymous
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous
Good Quotes Moments People Quotes
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. - Anonymous
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. Anonymous
Witty Quotes World Quotes
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Analogies Famous Quotes Good Quotes
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Know Quotes Wise Quotes
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