Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous
Love Quotes
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. - Anonymous
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
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Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous
Moments
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes People Quotes
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. - Anonymous
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." Anonymous
Questions
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
Time Quotes Work Quotes
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. - Anonymous
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

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