Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Stupid Quotes
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous
Computers Top 100
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
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My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous
Good Quotes Work Quotes
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Questions
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. - Anonymous
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
Moments Top 100
Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place."
Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place." Anonymous
Think Quotes
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous
Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes

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