Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. - Anonymous
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
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If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes. - Anonymous
My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes. Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes Short Quotes
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. - Anonymous
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Never Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. - Anonymous
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop. - Anonymous
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly. - Anonymous
And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. - Anonymous
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. Anonymous
Questions Wife Quotes
Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. - Anonymous
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. - Anonymous
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
Sayings
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet Top 100

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