Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
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If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. - Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. - Anonymous
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Moments Short Quotes
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous
Moments Work Quotes
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Questions
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Questions Short Quotes
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. - Anonymous
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. - Anonymous
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. Anonymous
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