Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.. Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life. - Anonymous
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Facebook Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
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To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. - Anonymous
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. - Anonymous
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. - Anonymous
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me? - Anonymous
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. - Anonymous
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes

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