Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master.
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade."
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through.
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys.
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020