Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
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Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly!
Anonymous
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Anonymous
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there.
Anonymous
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.
Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
Anonymous
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone.
Anonymous
Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.
Anonymous














