Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you. Anonymous
People Quotes
People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
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Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" - Anonymous
At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. - Anonymous
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Anonymous
Life Quotes Phone Short Quotes
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. - Anonymous
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. - Anonymous
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Smile while you still have teeth.
Smile while you still have teeth. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

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