I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
Don't press your luck, you might pop it.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough.
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.
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