Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. - Anonymous
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
Questions Sayings
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23. Anonymous
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Lazy Quotes
Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great. - Anonymous
Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes

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