Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
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My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life. - Anonymous
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. - Anonymous
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. Anonymous
Computers Love Quotes People Quotes
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. - Anonymous
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. Anonymous
Animals Top 100 Witty Quotes

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