Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? - Anonymous
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Sleep Quotes
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100
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I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. - Anonymous
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. - Anonymous
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. Anonymous
Sayings
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes People Quotes
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. - Anonymous
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. - Anonymous
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes Work Quotes
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. - Anonymous
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
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