Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions

You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous

Questions Sayings Top 100

I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anonymous

Life Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous

Wife Quotes

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Witty Quotes

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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