Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. - Anonymous
But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
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All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition. - Anonymous
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
Drinking Work Quotes
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. - Anonymous
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Analogies
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." - Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
Know Quotes Wise Quotes

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