Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Know Quotes Life Quotes
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If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Sayings
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. - Anonymous
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. - Anonymous
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. Anonymous
Life Quotes
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Statements
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. - Anonymous
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. - Anonymous
When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.
Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second! Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous
Work Quotes
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
Animals
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

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