Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." - Anonymous
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous
Man Quotes Moments
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If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Questions
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza. - Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Money Quotes
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Top 100
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
Sayings Wise Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

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