The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. Sigmund Freud
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein