Anonymous Quote

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The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

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I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

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When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. Sigmund Freud

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Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Jack Handey

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

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To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous

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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! Anonymous

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It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous

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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

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If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous

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You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright

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Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill

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If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)

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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

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We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.

Kevin Garnett

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If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous

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