Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Alexander Wright
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous