Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. - Anonymous
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
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If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. - Anonymous
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. Anonymous
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous
Moments
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous

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