Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous

Love Quotes

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Top 100

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! Anonymous

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous

Phone

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous

People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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