You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
You're never too old to do goofy stuff.
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.
I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.
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