I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I can't wait for that to never happen.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am..
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.
Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
Cool Funny Quotes
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020